Sketchbook 2011-2012
I’m a photographic artist. I like to make thoughtful, understated images in series’ to express a particular idea, a narrative or to collect fragments of things that relate to a philosophical exploration. But what underlies this is an undeniable creative urge. I get my peak experiences from making things, from spending time in the imaginative realms of my own head. It’s the process of creating that really gets me off. If I’m not creating then I feel only half alive and often anxiety or depression will kick in.
I’m really interested in the creative process and am always exploring ways to access the creative part of my mind – the part where dreams come from, the part that isn’t logical. I keep a sketchbook for this reason. I started this one about one year ago when I was really struggling with my creative voice and was yearning to make more, to be more prolific, to connect with that part of me more deeply.
I’ve had numerous sketchbooks throughout the past. I always used pencil and I always tried to draw what I saw in the real world, wanting to have control over my mind and hand to draw accurately what I saw in front of me. They’d also invariably end up filled with more writing than images. One day a painter/sculptor showed me her own sketchbook. It was full of abstract and geometric shapes done in pen. It was like seeing into her mind. This was an epiphany moment for me and I stopped with the pencil and tried the pen. It worked.
My general process is simply to get comfortable somewhere, draw a line and then another line, then maybe some shapes and so on until I feel that the piece is finished for me. It’s a mix of free drawings, sketches from dreams or memories, reflections from music I was listening to. I had a rule that this sketchbook would be word free, though a few did end up sneaking in.
Reaching that creative space soon became automatic, I’d have a Pavlov’s dogs reaction to having the sketchbook in front of me. I’d immediately feel relaxed and connected to my emotions no matter if they were positive or negative or a mix of both.
Fill me up completely isn’t about having something to show-off but rather about making space to be true to yourself, to know yourself in ways that aren’t describable in words and of letting your insides come through to the outside.
